Someone Is Always Hurting

There's been so much sickness around me, people hurting physically, which affects the emotions also.  At this point, I'm not sure what is worse, the emotional pain dealing with the physical pain or the pain itself.

Back when I was in my 20's, I struggled a lot with the question of pain and suffering, from my young son's chronic ear infection pain, to my younger brother's suicide, to my friend's loss of her son during her 7th month of pregnancy. Why would a loving God allow such pain? Years of more pain of my own and others' and the maturing process got me to the place of truth, realizing that pain is just a part of life and that no one is exempt; not money nor fame nor privilege can protect us, and that is a good thing. Why? Because pain, if we lean into it, feel it, absorb it deeply, creates in us a tender heart, gives us scar tissue that keeps our perspective intact, and ushers us into the truth of who God is and how much he loves us.

We all know sayings such as 'bitter or better' or 'what doesn't kill us will make us stronger' and I find it all true because what we do with the emotions of pain is a choice, every single time.

Life goes on, so the pain goes on. But more importantly, the joy goes on, the love of life and all that entails, goes on and on and on. The pain, the struggling with decisions, with loss, the support we give to each other and accept from each other is what keeps life rich, deeply holy, and purposeful.

Someone will always be hurting, giving others the opportunity to give love.

And this is a good thing.

Missing Mom and Dad

Like so many people lately, I've struggled through a nasty cold, even mentioning on Facebook that all that was missing was my Mom & chicken noodle soup. It wasn't just a cute remark, it was true.

I am a grandmother now and recently spent a week with sick grandchildren, cuddling, playing, reading stories, wiping noses, just as I did with my children. But feeling like crap with a stuffed nose, coughing, little sleep, scratchy throat and all the usual cold symptoms can make even an ol' granny want her Mommy! While lying on the couch wrapped in a blanket, tissues, water, aspirin and lip balm in tow, I was transported in my memory to this same place in my childhood, on the couch, the daytime spot for sick kids, sketch paper, pencil, notepad, and occasionally a tv show was the agenda, naps in between. What was most comforting were the gentle sounds floating from the kitchen where Mom was cooking, baking, cleaning up, humming, getting ready for an evening meal for seven or eight people, depending on who was to be home. When it was time for 'her Soap', she would settle in her chair with a cup of coffee and watch All My Children or One Life to Live, and I loved having her so near, catching her mumbled remarks regarding the Soap characters, talking with me about what I had read or drew or colored. With a big family, she didn't have time to sit and color with me, but just her presence and warmth of spirit made me feel better. 

Mom died suddenly seven years ago, and I miss and think of her often. Dad lived on for six more years, but missed Mom so much and went downhill health-wise, his bed surrounded with photos of Mom during the many years of their courtship and marriage - photos of her brought a sense of comfort and love to him, and he spoke often of  'being with her' again.

Mom wasn't a perfect parent, no one is, and all of us moms know we've made mistakes and will make more, even as grandparents, but speaking for myself, if, by the end of my life,  I have imparted nurturing warmth and wisdom to my children and grandchildren, my life will have been a great success. Why? Because love and comfort touch the very soul of each of us, the greatest gift we can give.

Linda